Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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