YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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