you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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