and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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