Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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