He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
