That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
