she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize