So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
