Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
