no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
