I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Randomize
