Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
