That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
