dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
