I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
