Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
