out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
