what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
