Me too!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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