So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
