it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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