yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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