I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
