You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
