The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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