just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
its not stalking. its research.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
