Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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