His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
...so i touched it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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