she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
