I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
