my sisters under your porch take her home
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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