We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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