i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
