That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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