Having a random hookup so left but love u
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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