i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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