My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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