They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
