pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
