Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
