it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize