i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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