I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
