Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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