would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
