i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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