It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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