i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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