when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Church boner. Awkwardddd
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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