her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
