this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
