It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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