I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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