Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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