It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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