With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
