so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Alive.
So much puke
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
