I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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