No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
