Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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