yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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