I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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