Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
